Hindsight Bias…
My sister just got her old information from a computer back, sent off 5 months ago, and I had the opportunity to go through a ton of old pictures of me, marching band, friends, stuff like that. While looking at the pictures I realized…
I miss high school marching band more than I should. There was just something about rehearsing the same song every Tuesday and Thursday night in the cool yet humid air of Virginia Beach. I also realized that we were pretty bad, I mean, I had the chance to see and hear a couple of videos and people just LOVE to crack notes while marching. But my sister took a LOT of pictures, starting with the first time we met our new band director (I’m sitting in the chairs in the auditorium, looking rather annoyed), through band camp, during shako practices, competitions, me out on field accepting awards, and colder practices. Even though we only practiced 3 times a week and had a competition on assorted Saturdays, those short months felt like they spanned for like a year. I also saw awkward band couples (I had the fortune, if you could call it that, if not having a weird hookup during marching band season) and remembered how much fun things were before something happened and people got dramatic. I can’t completely say that I regretted what happened in the end but things could have been happier. Damn life and the many courses it could take with the smallest actions…
I gave myself too hard of a time when it came to how I looked, acted, or just who I was in general. Like, I thought I was HIDEOUS all four years of high school. With some new and random light, my pictures show a fairly likable person. I can never actually say “wow, I’m hot” but I can definitely tell myself now I’m a litttttle cute and I always have been despite my awkwardness. I wish that I embraced that fact earlier so I wasn’t always hard on myself and could maybe take a compliment once in awhile, but me being stubborn, it took me a few years to realize. But, once again with the “life wouldn’t be different without it”, my personality may be a lot different if I thought earlier that people actually liked me for who I was. I became weird and interesting in a different sort of sense and I like that air about me. I might have just settled into one group because of my complacentness and never attempted to just get to know a few people in each little high school clique. I’m pretty well rounded and now I can understand where people can misinterpret impressions, and I’m also very empathetic because I know what it’s like to make a situation difficult and… I don’t know, at this point I’m rambling.
I miss my physics class. I mean, I only saw 4 pictures of it, but c’mon, there were SIX of us in it. That class was destined to be cool even though everyone in it knew exactly what they were doing, aside from me… Okay, maybe I had somewhat of a clue, but senioritis attacks in the most unfortunate ways 
. There’s not too much to say about them, except for yay for me, Taylor, Kevin, Michael, Xenia, Adam, and Hoots!
But most of all, I realized high school wasn’t as bad as I claim it is now. I really miss bits and pieces more than I expected. However, although I have the memories and sometimes wish I could have those moments back, I know I’ll be able to completely let go and accept the fact that I’m growing up and I’m in college now. And that no matter how much I loved high school memories, VT moments kick ass at least ten times harder.
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