Guilty Reads

My friend recently referred me to a book titled I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. A compilation of drunken and out of the norm adventures of a man called Tucker Max, this book has derived from a website of everything hilarious yet horrible this man had to write. He cooly brags how the number of women he’s slept with is easily in the range of three digits and how, until a certain point, he believed he was THE shit, thinking each and every one of these women completely worshipped him. His point of realization that if women would do the dirty with him prior to a date and happily announce this to Tucker, then statistically he must not always been GOD to a girl at one point. Although this temporary blow to his ego amused me greatly, the stories about his unpredictible life full of too many shots, bar fights, and the chase for a piece of ass had me laughing, and occasionally snorting, out loud (hey, it’s just what I do). Despite the fact that my gender as a whole was seemingly dejected throughout the book, something he could just do and drop, I honestly couldn’t get enough of it. It wholly amused me to hear about the slutty bulimic dumbasses that would throw themselves at him for a little bit of vindication of their worth in this world. I even empathized with him when what he lovingly called “fatties” would cockblock him or would accuse him of being a jerk when he took preference of the hot chicks in the bar. His ideal choice of words made the exchanged dialogue completely hilarious and made me want to read until I ran out of stories to laugh about.

However, I feel completely guilty for thinking this way. I mean, I’ll never meet this guy but I can imagine having to deal with him and his antics if I ever met him in a bar. In all honesty, I’m curious what impression he’d get and write about me. According to him, most girls are pretty average looking and most are idiots. I’m not the brightest person often times so I’m pretty convinced that I would NOT like this guy if I met him in real life. Thankfully, I can revel in the fact that I have never nor ever will even see him, so until then, I’ll be laughing along with Tucker Max. I really DO hope they serve beer in hell .

Along with the completion of this book, I decided to get more of this guy via his website, tuckermax.com (what else?). After perusing what ended up being the same entries I already read in his book, I looked at media sites similar to his. I ended up at a site titled Tard-Blog.com. Yes, this IS EXACTLY what you think this is. After reading the first entry, consisting of the special ed teacher completely taring up the mother of a student, I thought perhaps this blog wouldn’t be quite as bad as the title makes it seem. Well, after reading the ENTIRE SITE, I can tell you now despite the fact that she lovingly calls her students Tards, she does take appreciation into their little advancements that most teachers would consider normal. I somehow appreciated seeing this woman vent, knowing that people who teach special ed aren’t doing it for JUST the greater good and aren’t extrasupercrazily tolerant of all beings. The way she’s able to describe the behavior of her class makes me want to just sit in the classroom myself (and hopefully, not be tackled) and try to take things as normally as she does. Like, despite the fact that she’s human and can rant a bitch (that phrase probably makes no sense…) she is amazing.

Stories like these, despite their rough and harsh exterior, somehow make me open my eyes and gain respect for those who are living completely different lives than me.

~ by timidventer on June 5, 2008.